Manifestations of Boundaries

Boundaries are artificial divisions we create, usually early in life, as a primitive defense against trauma. It's the best we can do to protect ourselves & survive at that time. However as we mature, we find that being cut off from ourselves or from others or the environment blocks our evolution of consciousness and joy.

Perhaps the easiest to recognize type of boundary is muscular armoring - holding some part of our body clenched: one or more of jaws, neck-shoulder area, stomach & fists are particularly common. We tend to hold our stomach in, instead of allowing it to naturally expand & contract (diaphragmatic- or belly-breathing). Pressing on or massaging chronically clenched muscles hurts, yet helps to release some of the tightness. Body memory and the associated muscular armoring remains for a long, long time, despite various forms of therapy.

Closely associated with muscular armoring is insensitivity to various parts of the body. Whereas some parts of our body are super-sensitive eg tip of tongue or eyeballs, we may not really be particularly aware of our body as a whole or certain parts. The skin of the upper back is typically surprisingly insensitive for most people, and due to various forms of trauma in the past, we may be disconnected from specific parts: pelvic region, abdomen, even our own face! The insensitivity may be to touch but also to our vision ie we may seldom look at, or otherwise care for this part of our body (avoidance).

“My mind is like a bad neighborhood, I try not to go there alone.” Anne Lamott

Not only do we tend to create boundaries between our mind and body, we even erect boundaries within our own mind!

Cognitive fusion is almost universal. This is the unconscious & erroneous assumption that our thoughts / self-talk is who we are, and an accurate take on reality. Much of psychology as well as meditation practices aim to correct this pervasive misconception.

Cognitive fusion leads to "autopilot" - living life more-or-less instinctually, with little sense of wise intention & freedom of choice. Homer Simpson is a satirized, though not-so-far-off version of far too many of us sleep-walking through life. In cognitive fusion & autopilot, we have a boundary between the obvious function of thinking / doing, and our mostly undiscovered intelligence / being. The latter, which neuroscience understands as the prefrontal cortex, could play a far greater role. Contemplative wisdom traditions are all about reconnecting directly with or waking up to our true nature.

There are many other rigid boundaries that may require accepting, softening, expanding, letting go, releasing etc so that we may re-connect with our authenticity, others and real life. We can do some of this on our own, while other boundaries may require expert guidance from experienced meditation teachers, psychotherapists, other counselors & therapists. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2016/12/731-what-is-there-to-hang-onto.html

"Growth fundamentally means an enlarging and expanding of one's horizons, a growth of one's boundaries, outwardly in perspective & inwardly in depth. ... Growth is reapportionment; re-zoning; re-mapping; an acknowledgment, and then enrichment, of ever deeper and more encompassing levels of one's own self."

Wilber K. "No boundary. Eastern and Western approaches to personal growth." Shambhala, Boston, 1979.