Challenging Truths ...

About three years after (her husband) Hob’s diagnosis, the author found herself very angry. Her meditation teacher advised:

“ ‘This situation with Hob is teaching you how to die. … Everything’s falling apart. You need to feel it, all of it – your frustration, your anger, your grief, whatever – and experience your full humanness. Accept that the old securities are collapsing. It’s all going, and it’s showing you the process of death. This is the biggest thing you’ve ever done, so you need to be easier on yourself.’

Showing me the process of death. Those were illuminating words. Of course I knew that Hob was in the final chapter of his life, but I hadn’t focused on how much I was living in a parallel process. Together we were learning about loss and acceptance, letting go and death. This was hard, but these were the gifts.”

Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle. “Ten Thousand Joys & Ten Thousand Sorrows. A Couple’s Journey through Alzheimer’s.” Penguin, NY, 2008.